If I were to address this season with a letter to the host region:

Dear Kansas,

Thank you.

For introducing me to yet a different version of myself.

We’ll call this version: #27Not trying to prove anything.

and my perspective of Jesus’ version will be: Model#JesusIsRealHeProvesHimself

I came to the mid-west pretty confident in myself.

I’ve been myself in Vegas, Kona, Chiang-Mai, Bangkok, India, Turlock, Delhi and Fruitland…even saw a weird version of me in Liverpool.

But, I like this version of me the most.

Bike rides, Braum’s and lightening bugs.

Lots of time and extreme business.

Drives to discover coffee with Cody in KC.

Large groups of people intentionally doing nothing.

…reluctance to travel more than 30 miles away from their door step.

Here, in Kansas; I’m a little older.  I’m a little less energetic  (prolly because the cafe makes me wake up early).

People do wave while driving, but the cops are unapologetic about giving you a ticket for going 43 in a 35…(eye roll, hands in air…ridiculous).

There are dead armadillo.  EVERYWHERE.

I dodge 2 turtles on average daily on my way to and from work.

Oddly though, I can think more clearly here.  ANNNDDDDD with less mood swings.

I have less titles.

I’m a baristaphotographEtsyingServer.  I occupy the closet of a mailman…whom I sometimes see.

We’re both sorta busy..doing something, always.

I honestly couldn’t care less for positional authority any longer.  I don’t dream of convenience of titles.

I’ve fewer lists and obligations.  And yet it takes most of my person to love intentionally anyone who is made available to me, today.

I don’t need to be needed.  But I have purpose…even when I don’t want to have an agenda…

My agenda is often, Kansas, summarized by this statement, “Have you met my friend?”

I haven’t needed my notes app in my iPhone for anything other than tracking my tips, which is typically two figure numbers or less…

I’m typically the last person to know anything pop culture…I don’t know the difference between Tre Songz? and Drake?  Same dude? Diff? Dunno.

I know about 250+ peoples names from a small town in the mid-west though.

And I’m not suggesting to them they go to any great revival meetings…save for one with Immanuel before they go to sleep.

…I’ve not been liking many photos on instagram. There’s not a ton of joy there for me…and I think that’s sorta lame, but for now IG is just confusing emotions.  I’m not sure if it’s for jealousy I can’t enjoy Insta, or if it’s because I can’t tell if I’m thinking for myself when I observe others’ tailored stories…

Jelly or insecure? I like posting myself though, to share the joy in me though!

…I haven’t seen the news in a few weeks or more (and I’m convicted by that).

I miss my family as much and more than I have in the past.

I am working 3 jobs pretty efficiently…especially if we consolidate weddings and leather working into one category.  However I do it, I see people doing this job juggling thing far classier and with more accomplishments along the way, than myself.

I’m pleased with my days though.  I work a little harder than I ever have, trying to live each day, focussed on a bigger vision.  Jesus truly can heal any dark spot in our mind, body or spirit.

I work a little more towards things that aren’t entirely just for me.  Saying yes to silence, no to fear…and breathing deep with required patience…be it for the future, for friendships or for someone ordering a latte at 7 am.  I sometimes do things for me that I don’t enjoy doing.  #ROMWOD #sourceviewbible

I try to give selfless advice more than ever…trusting in Holy Spirit more than the “minister” in me…and I sometimes accomplish that well…sometimes at all.

The greatest change in me, Kansas…is becoming so frustrating…and I don’t know how to respond, yet.  But it’s been your peace and kindness that has won me over.  Here, in your land, I’ve become less worried about a movement, and more in love with the healing change that happens when humans meet this man Jesus.

It’s stupid real.

It’s this welling up of love.  Sometimes it’s for people. Sometimes it’s for relationship with Jesus. Sometimes it’s to be reconciled MORE to a whole ME. Not binging on stuff to feed my person…

I am consumed by love.

Blehch. Wuhlruachalsk!

That phrase grosses me out. It seems too simple and basic. Overused and trashy christianese lingo.

Too lazy and too generalizing.

But I nearly start to cry when I see wounds.  Be it photos, broken legs or fearful eyes.

Even more when it’s stories of freedom.

Frack.

I want to scream when I think of veils of false identity or deaf ears to Abba’s calling…and sometimes I cast them out. Sometimes I’m not sure how to interact with death himself.

(beat.)

I live with world changers.  We sometimes do church..and I mean that.

We’re not that great at meeting to read outside of a semi-shallow and short event weekly…sometimes.

The bible needs a greater presence and so does, “How are you”‘s that have more than 2 minutes on either side of the question.

I plan to respond to this..how? Not sure.

We aren’t consistent with a lot of things, but our vision is Jesus.  This excites and disappoints me daily.

But…it is a safe place for others to come into.

It’s served as healing company for many..and many more will grow in it!

Here’s to an abrupt ending.

Signed Me.